The Great TP Debate Continues…
If you care about which way the toilet paper roll is installed, you apparently have plenty of company. Your Brentwood plumber does not wish to express an opinion concerning toilet paper orientation, but simply wishes to inform and entertain. Also be aware that should you, in your frustration, tear off entirely too much toilet paper and manage somehow to clog the toilet, your Brentwood plumber will happily take care of your clogged toilet.
According to a survey at The Toilet Paper Encyclopedia website, 68% of the people who took the survey prefer to hang toilet paper with the sheets coming out over the roll, with 25% preferring the sheets coming out under the roll. That adds up to 93%, so I’m not sure what happened with the other 7% who took the survey, since this would seem to be an either-or type of question.
Google search results for the phrase “toilet paper over or under” confirm that there are lots of people out there who have taken the time to think about and weigh in with all sorts of rationalizations on this issue:
- Installing the toilet paper “under” may prevent toddlers or cats from pulling all of the paper off the roll.
- Installing the toilet paper “over” lets it hang freely, making it easier to tear off.
- Installing the paper “under” makes it more difficult to get more than a couple of sheets at a time, thus conserving paper.
- Installing the paper “over” makes it easier to locate and restart a sheet.
- People who install toilet paper “under” are ignorant, imbecilic half-wits incapable of basic hygiene.
- People who install toilet paper “over” are anal-obsessive, addle-brained Neanderthals who can barely manage to wipe themselves.
Even weirder than people who take the time to think about this issue are those people who get militant about it. These Toilet Paper Nazis actually believe they have the God-given right to flip toilet paper that is not installed according to their preference.
When visiting friends or relatives, do you flip the toilet paper to conform with your preferred orientation? If so, I just have to ask: what are you THINKING? Are you completely INSANE? Do you also rearrange their furniture, make them put on different outfits, rename their children and pets? Where is your sense of propriety?
And do you have any idea how dangerous toilet paper flipping can be? There are a lot of weird people out there, and reactions can range from mild consternation all the way up to psychotic rage and violent attack. Is toilet paper alignment really worth dying for?
Apparently people have faced divorce, friendships have been ruined, and families have been torn apart over the “over” vs. “under” issue. Therefore, as a public service, here are a few suggestions to help you cope when a friend or loved one disagrees with you about toilet paper alignment:
- Recognize that it doesn’t really matter, let them have their way, and get on with your life.
- Don’t argue — just keep flipping the toilet paper every time you use the bathroom. Over a period of months or years, the situation will work itself out. Or not.
- Set up a monthly toilet paper schedule: “over” on even days, “under” on odd days.
- Install two toilet paper holders side-by-side in each bathroom; one for “over,” one for “under.”
- Rotate the toilet paper dispenser 90 degrees, so that the roll is installed vertically, thus eliminating the over vs. under debate. But realize that this will likely lead to arguments over “clockwise” vs. “counterclockwise.”
- Just get a bidet and be done with it!
You should also try to understand that, in the end, “over” and “under” are really just complementary opposites within a greater whole. Or greater roll. Or something…